Wine Therapy

"Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-b*stard cream there is not" Dave

What is "Wine Therapy"?

This is a detox treatment for the serious oenophile (wine lover), but with a difference. Instead of focusing on the consumption of wine, this is about those parts your regular tipple just can't reach.

Wine Therapy (Oenotherapy, Vino Terapia, ... etc.) claims to take the health benefits of wine to a new level by slapping them on your face, rubbing them on your skin or reducing them to a pill format that you can swallow without having to swirl.

Sound like fun yet?

I was recently invited to such a treatment whilst visiting Rioja. My treatment involved turning up at a spa, dressing only in the flimsiest shorts on Earth, and lying on a plastic sheet on a heated bed. Pretty dodgy so far.

Next, my therapist slathered my skin with a mixture made from honey & the tartrate deposits from wine barrels. How these "polyphenol rich deposits" (or something like that) are supposed to pass their antioxidant, and therefore anti-ageing, properties to me I'm not sure. However, having gritty goo rubbed all over you for 40 minutes is surprisingly enjoyable.

Next comes the wrap. Feeling like a certain overweight character about to do a Full Monty, I lay there wrapped in that plastic sheet to "absorb" (and sweat) whilst more vinous treatments were applied to my feet.

Next a strong mit and a shower, ready for the oil rub (I think there was some grape must extract there somewhere). Finally, feeling all rosy and fresh, I was served a delicate infusion (no grapes, and certainly no wine) and told to swallow a Resveratrol pill made from the concentration of grape skins and pips.

I must admit I felt good, but any form of massage and skin treatment would do that. As for any "health benefits" from the natural properties of grapes ... well, maybe there was, and maybe there wasn't, but I think I'd still rather take my grape-based medicine by the glass-full instead.